Great Expectations

Tammy and I are going to Manhattan this weekend, and I can’t wait! New York is one of my favorite places to visit, and I enjoy traveling in general.

To prep for the trip, I decided to read this disability blog carnival called “On Holiday,” which is all about traveling. I’m kind of surprised how many of the entries focus on disability-related challenges.

I’ve certainly faced some of the issues mentioned. My wheelchair has been damaged by the airlines, I’ve stayed in inaccessible hotel rooms, and I’ve even been left behind on a tour or two. Not fun. But these snags don’t stop me from traveling. They don’t even dominate my travel experiences. The fact that I travel in a wheelchair takes a back seat to having a great time on the journey.

That’s because I do a number of things to make traveling easier for myself. I always check in at the gate to get early boarding on the airplane, and I keep my wheelchair cushion with me because it would be easy to lose it in the cargo hold. I take direct flights so that I don’t have to worry about my wheels not making it from one plane to the next during a layover. And my friends and I do advance research on accessibility. Not to mention that we take advantage of our surroundings along the way. Did you know that some of the airline folks will let you sit on the bag scale to weigh yourself? Caryn suggested I try that on a trip we took, and we discovered that it’s a great way to weigh-in without having to stand up (if you really want to know how much you weigh).

But out of everything I’ve learned about traveling, I think the key to having a good time involves successfully managing expectations. For me that means several things.

It means I have to talk about what I want out of a trip with the people, or person, I’ll be traveling with before we leave. They need to know what I have in mind, and I need to know what they have in mind. Otherwise, somebody is bound to be disappointed, and accessibility issues are more likely to crop up. We'll have more fun if we’re on the same page.

It also means that to get on the “same page,” I have to be clear and honest about my physical limitations. I try to be very specific about explaining how my disability will affect the things we can and can’t do on a trip by saying things like, “Cobble stones are very hard to push a wheelchair on” or “Because I can’t push my chair through the sand, we can’t really go to the beach.” It’s my responsibility to speak up because my limitations will affect everyone. And if my limits are not okay, then it’s time to plan something else.

Finally, managing expectations means being honest with myself. This can be tough, but it is extremely important. There are some things I just can’t do or participate in. But that doesn’t mean that my friends and family should miss out on them just because I happen to be there. I have to know what I’m willing give up or not be a part of. I have to be willing to compromise. And my travel buddies have to be willing to compromise too.

So with that, I’ll say that my bags are almost packed, and I’m ready to hit the road! Tammy and I plan to go to SoHo, among many other wonderful New York neighborhoods. I know she is very aware of SoHo’s killer curbs because we’ve talked about our travel plan, and we’ve been there before. I think T’s shoulder still hurts from hoisting me up and down those curbs during our last visit. (Wink, wink!) But she’s game to tackle them again, and so am I. The shopping is so spectacular that it’s worth it! Look out New York!